You can’t make your spouse (or soon be be ex-spouse) a better parent

Harsh words? Maybe.  Reality? Yes.

I actually heard the Judge tell a soon to be ex-wife these words last week in the courtroom.  She was complaining that she has no free time, that he hasn’t had the kids overnight for over a year, etc, etc.  The Judge, very clearly and calmly explained that he has no power to make her spouse be a better parent.  He does not have the authority to throw him in jail for failing to exercise parenting time.  The only think that Judge can do in this instance is potentially give Mother more child support for since she has the children 100% of the time.

The point of the above story is to realize what you can and can’t control.  I tell my clients very often that while I wish the situation were different, there are certain things I can’t help them with.  Being good parents is certainly one of these topics.  But what I do emphasize what my client can control: his or herself.  This means making the most out of the time you have with your children.  Let’s face it, we have a very short time that kids want to hang out with their parents, so enjoy the limited time you have, even if your spouse doesn’t.

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