How You and Your Spouse Can Make Your Kansas Divorce Amicable

Please read the title of this article again.  Note is doesn’t say “YOU”, it says “YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE”.  It truly does take both of you to agree on keeping things amicable, but on the other side of the coin, if YOU keep these simple things in mind, then maybe you can keep your spouse on the uncontested track, instead of slinging mud right back when mud is slinged at you.

One of the most important things to keep in mind in an uncontested divorce is why you want to keep your divorce amicable.  There are three common reasons:

1.  You have children and don’t want them to suffer.

2. You don’t have a lot of money to spend on a divorce or you don’t want to spend a lot of money.

3. You want to keep the friendship that you have with your spouse.

How do you do you keep things amicable?  While I don’t have a perfect formula, I do have some suggestions that I have learned from my clients who have successfully divorced amicably:

1. Be honest with your spouse about why you want a divorce.  Be up front, don’t try to hide things, and give him or her the respect they deserve.

2. Take some ownership in the problems that led to your divorce.  Don’t point fingers, accept that you both contributed to the demise of the relationship, and move forward.

3. See a therapist on your own.  Let’s face it, we all need a non-judging third party to listen.  Having someone to talk to in a safe environment will prevent you from lashing out at your spouse.

Once you are your spouse are in agreement that you have given your relationship a chance, but you can’t make it work together, then seek a divorce.  There is no way that your divorce will be amicable if you try to shock your spouse by filing.   Relationships are built on trust, and if you want your divorce to remain friendly, your divorce must start on the same trust foundation.

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